Christopher Walken Twitters

I've heaped plenty of scorn on twitter with friends and family. But even if Twitter soon finds its rightful place in the young dustbin of the internet (alongside the dancing baby and Numa Numa) Christopher Walken's twits(?) will have justified the ignoble experiment.

# I can't say where we're going this evening. It's not a secret or anything - I just don't always listen well. We should keep this between us.1:27 PM Mar 20th from web

# There's a kid on a Pogo stick in front of my house. It's nearly midnight so let's assume he's been drinking. This should end well for him.7:41 PM Mar 18th from web

# The Pope is in Africa "reaffirming the ban on condom use." His old stuff was funnier. I don't get this new material. Too edgy for my taste.1:10 PM Mar 18th from web

# I claim to be frightened of horses but do so only to get out of attending parades. It's peculiar but has served me well. The horses get it.10:49 AM Mar 17th from web

# A soldier on leave told me how much he admired me. Without really knowing me at all. We're alike that way. I hope to see him again too.9:20 AM Mar 16th from web

# A dog walked by wearing a frilly sweater. The neighbor kid laughed and said, "That's gay!" He meant the cardigan, I think. Not the dog.6:07 AM Mar 15th from web

# No. I'm not really Tina Fey. That was an odd question but I applaud its random nature.6:57 AM Mar 13th from web

# An escalator in Grand Central Station is out-of-service. I stood on it for a minute or two in the name of subtle irony. No-one else did.1:19 PM Mar 6th from web

# Someone commended me for being "approachable." Okay. The truth is that I'm easily distracted and don't notice people touching me right away.2:30 PM Mar 5th from web

# My new pencil fits my hand well but its lead breaks too easily. I can't decide if it's irony or just irritating. I overcomplicate things.9:09 AM Feb 20th from web

# Ashton Kutcher. That's his name. He pushed Obama over the top just as he singlehandedly inspired a generation to wear scarves needlessly.10:21 AM Jan 21st from web

# I wonder how today would have been had Demi Moore and that gangly kid not supported Obama. President Kucinich maybe? Or the other guy.9:55 AM Jan 21st from web

# I would like to see someone land a train in the Hudson.12:57 PM Jan 16th from web